So Innocent
by A Dutch Lady
Summary: Elizabeth reflects on her engagement to Mr. Darcy. The mortification, the pleasure and the patience...


Marriage with Darcy pleased Elizabeth extremely well. The gentle admiration and love both had felt during their period of engagement, blossomed into passionate love and great esteem since they were married. Consequent to the differences in expectations of conduct between males and females before they were wed, it was to be known beforehand that the task fell upon Darcy to teach his young and innocent wife on matters heretofore unknown to her.

Why, Mrs. Bennet had certainly attempted to tell her two eldest daughters what was to be the duty of a wife to her husband. Elizabeth remembered how her mother had struggled to begin this excruciatingly painfull and embarrasing conversation. But once she had begun there was no stopping her. She rambled on about men's peculiar desires and expectations. Wives would have to conduct themselves with as much dignity as they could muster afterwards, because truly, their husbands' act was quite beneath the elegance and grace of gentlewomen, but it was to be endured. According to Mrs. Bennet, especcialy Lizzy was to make an effort towards her husband, because Darcy was in want of an heir for his beautiful Pemberley as to where Bingley had yet to purchase an estate for a son to inherit. So there was not so much urgency for Jane in the immediate future!

Elizabeth and Jane shared a look of anxiety at their mothers' exclamations. Elizabeth also detected a glint of panic in Jane's eyes when her mother approached the subject of how everything was to be done, technically. "Oh dear Jane, dear Lizzy, it must be endured, it's simply our duty. It's quite painful for the first time, when he goes inside your…" Mrs. Bennet was litteraly at a loss for words, but that blissful phenomenon was to be cherished only for a slight moment. Their mother recollected herself and advised them further on the subject: "You both must try to relax while your husbands engage themselves so, to prevent yourselves from being pained too much and you must try not to encourage him into any repetition of the act immediately afterwards by releasing moans or endearments. Allthough it must relieve you that a man cannot perform hastily after being spent. Their members are too tired to become erect again."

Jane and Elizabeth shared another look of alarm and mortification. "Could not their mother be a little less blunt about these matters", thought Lizzy, while noting the panic in her sisters' countenance. Lizzy herself was less inclined to believe everything her mother said as was Jane. She believed that desire was not only the prerogative of the husband, for she herself had definitely felt a strange urge of running her hands over her fiance's chest the other day, when he stood so close to her, nuzzling her hair.

They had been walking to the Black Lake on a beautiful autumn morning. It had been quite warm for that time of the year and the sun had cast the entire county in a warm and cheerful light. The weather thus matching their moods, Lizzy and Darcy and Jane and Bingley had commenced a happy and energetic stride towards the Black Lake. Upon reaching the banks the couples had taken different directions. Darcy had never seen this particular prospect before and was quite taken in by the beauty of the trees reflecting in the water and the ducks and other wild animals inhabiting this magnificent place. He was so much taken in that he did not immediately notice Lizzy's intentions. Lizzy had been meditating on ways in which she could make her wishes known to her beloved. She so longed for a more ardent expression of his love, an expression beyond words so to speak. She sometimes wondered how his lips would taste and how they would feel upon her own. And she could not deny, however in conflict with propriety, that she was desiring the touch of his hands on places she had not considered sharing with anyone before she got engaged. Indeed, she had sometimes secretly indulged herself by running her own hands over her body. Her waist, her thighs, her breasts, her womanhood, everything had been investigated. She wondered at the sensations her own hands could bestow, that funny tickling and then that almost unendurable desire built up in her lower stomach and most intimate parts. She remembered some fluids coming out of her body and her shock at thát had put an abrupt stop to her investigation. But the memory of that exciting feeling remained. And she hoped that some day Darcy's hands would take the same routes…

These thoughts occupying her mind she reached out one hand to Darcy, who stood bent over in admiration of a tiny frog making his way to the safety of the lake. Unfortunately, Lizzy had blindly reached out to him and had no idea why Darcy jumped up in shock at her touch.

She startled and gave him a questioning look. Darcy could not contain himself and his face broke into a mischievous grin. "Why, sir, should you be so shocked?", asked Lizzy. She could conceive a little tremble in his shoulders and beholding his countenance, saw that it was due to him trying to hold his laughter. With mirth Darcy replied in a teasing low voice: "My Lizzy, you're are a sly thing, being so forward. But if you desire more, I shall not suspend any pleasure of yours. Moreover because the sensations you bestow are certainly not objectionable." And while saying this Darcy came closer to Elizabeth and looked at her in a peculiar, eager fashion. Seeing that she was quite confused by his reply to her bold action, he continued: "Indeed, my initial reaction was shock, but not of an unpleasant kind I assure you…" And even more eagerness coloured his voice at that statement. Lizzy gazed quizzingly in his eyes: "Sir, whatever could you mean?"

"Calling me 'sir' now are you?" And he grinned softly and stepped even closer to her. "Will you not touch me again…?"

Lizzy was quite startled by his responsiveness at her gentle approach. She longed for him, surely, but was more comfortable at taking things slowly. Thus inclined, she apprehensively reached out again, this time looking at her own hand making it's progress over his shoulders and chest. Softly she stroked him and was quite pleased with her bold action. Darcy, however, could still feel the spot where she had touched him before. A peculiar sensation that he still felt on his buttock, where she had rested her hand for a while and then had softly squeezed him. Why was she so careful in her conduct now? He had not disapproved of it to be sure! He had even encouraged her gently to continue!

Lizzy had no idea that she had grabbed him there and thought herself to be quite forward currently. "Does this please you Fitzwilliam?"she whispered while she ran her hands beneath his great coat and circled one of her fingers between the folds of his cravat. But before he could grab her hand and place it on a spot where he had wished her touch again, he could hear Bingley and Jane approaching and thought it was actually quite fortunate that they could function as their chaperones, because Darcy found that he would have taken their flirtation a bit further than appropriate. He resigned himself to the fact that playtime was over and with a smile drew Elizabeth's hand on his arm to continue the walk…


End file.
